What If Your Astrological Complaints Had a Customer Service Line? Discover the Cosmic Answers!

Imagine dialing a helpline for astrological complaints. Press 1 for Mercury retrograde issues, press 2 for Saturn struggles, and press 3 if life just feels cursed. But who’s answering these calls? Get ready for a cosmic customer service experience!

1. Saturn – The Strict Manager
Calling about career delays? Expect Saturn to reply in a "work harder" tone. No sugarcoating, no sympathy—just a life lesson. Complaints about struggles? Saturn says, "Karma, dear. Try again in seven years."

2. Mercury – The Speedy Talker
For missed texts, awkward conversations, or lost passwords, Mercury picks up. But hold on—it's too fast. By the time the issue is explained, Mercury has already transferred the call three times.

3. Mars – The Angry Representative
"Why is everything chaotic?" Mars: "Because action is necessary!" Instead of solving problems, Mars offers motivational yelling. Angry about a situation? Mars says, "Punch a pillow and move on!"

4. Venus – The Flirty Customer Care Rep
Relationship drama? Venus answers in a dreamy voice, "Love takes time, darling. Light a candle, play music, and manifest." But is there a real solution? That’s a mystery.

5. Jupiter – The Wise Guru
Confused about life? Jupiter’s response: "Read this 500-page philosophy book first." Long explanations, deep wisdom, but no quick fixes. "Just trust the process," says Jupiter, before disconnecting.

6. Moon – The Emotional Support Rep
Feeling lost? Moon listens. Soft voice, lots of "I understand" and emotional validation. But don’t call during a full moon—there’s a high chance of crying together on the call.

7. Rahu & Ketu – The Mysterious Call Center Agents
The call connects… then drops. Or worse, the issue gets more complicated. Rahu creates confusion, Ketu offers cryptic answers. Nothing makes sense, but somehow, it feels like destiny.

Astrology’s customer care helpline would be a wild ride. But one thing is certain—no refunds on karma!